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Walking in Their Shoes: Using Simulation to Understand Sensory Changes in Dementia

This article helps you, as a care partner, briefly experience what your loved one with dementia may be sensing. By simulating vision loss, touch changes, and hearing difficulties, you can gain a felt understanding of why they react the way they do. This isn't about imagining—it's about stepping into their world for a few minutes to build patience, compassion, and practical skills. There are concrete, safe ways to do this at home, and they can transform how you respond to challenging moments.

Key points

  • Simulation helps you move from intellectual understanding to emotional empathy—you feel what your loved one might feel.
  • Use simple, safe simulations: goggles for vision, gloves for touch, noise for hearing. Never simulate for more than 20 minutes.
  • Always debrief after simulation: write down what you felt and one change you can make.
  • Simulation is a tool for compassion, not for proving a point. It's about you, not about 'fixing' your loved one.
  • Personalize your simulation based on your loved one's dementia type, stage, and environment.
  • Share your simulation insights with other caregivers—it builds community and reduces isolation.

Why Simulation Matters: From Head-Knowing to Heart-Knowing

You may have read that dementia changes vision, touch, and hearing, but knowing this in your head is different from feeling it in your body. When you simulate sensory loss, you move from sympathy to empathy—you don't just feel sorry for your loved one; you begin to appreciate what their daily reality might be like. As Teepa Snow explains, simply simulating that experience and processing it can show you 'how your life's going to be when you get dementia' (source [1]). This isn't about scaring yourself, but about understanding that your loved one is living with something profoundly different, in ways you 'really frankly can't even begin to imagine'—until you try.

What Simulation Reveals: The Hidden World of Sensory Changes

In dementia, the brain's ability to process sensory information is altered. Vision may narrow, making peripheral cues invisible. Touch may become less sensitive or overly sensitive. Hearing may distort sounds, making a friendly voice seem harsh. When you simulate these changes—for example, by wearing goggles that block peripheral vision or gloves that dull touch—you suddenly understand why your loved one might startle when you approach from the side, or why they might fidget with their clothing. As the Dementia Careblazers note, you can 'kind of see if your loved one is startled and easy when you're approaching them from different angles' (source [2]). Simulation gives you a direct, personal reference for their behavior.

The Emotional Impact: Why Simulation Changes Your Response

When you experience even a few minutes of sensory confusion, you feel vulnerable, anxious, and disoriented. That feeling is a gift—it helps you stop blaming your loved one for 'acting out' and start problem-solving with compassion. As one expert puts it, 'it's harder to actually believe in what we're being told if we can't feel what it would mean to us' (source [5]). Simulation lets you 'feel what it would mean' to live with these changes. Then, when your loved one resists help or seems agitated, you're more likely to ask, 'What can I do to make this easier?' rather than 'Why are they doing this to me?'

General caregiving information, not medical advice. Check medications and major care changes with your clinician.

Step-by-step

  1. Set aside 15-20 minutes when you are calm and won't be interrupted. Tell your loved one you're doing a short exercise to understand them better—this can be a bonding moment.

  2. Put on a pair of thick knit gloves or oven mitts to reduce fine motor sensation and tactile feedback. Try to button a shirt, pick up a coin, or turn a page. Notice how frustrating and clumsy it feels.

  3. Use a pair of safety goggles or sunglasses with the outer edges taped to simulate loss of peripheral vision. Walk slowly around a room, try to find a cup on a table, or approach a chair. Notice how you have to turn your head more and how things seem to 'jump out' at you.

  4. Play ambient noise—a radio tuned to static, a loud fan, or a recording of a crowded room—at a moderate volume. Try to follow a simple conversation or listen to a short story. Notice how you have to strain and how quickly you feel tired.

  5. Combine two or three of these simulations at once. For example, wear the gloves and the goggles while the noise plays. Try to pour a glass of water or find a spoon in a drawer. This approximates the multi-sensory overload your loved one may experience.

  6. After 5-10 minutes, remove the simulations and sit quietly. Write down or say aloud what you felt: frustration, fear, confusion, fatigue. This emotional data is as important as the physical experience.

  7. Now, apply your insights to a specific recent behavior. For example, if your loved one refused to eat, ask: 'Was the plate too visually cluttered? Was the food too hot or cold to feel? Was the dining room too noisy?' Use your simulation memory to brainstorm one small change to try tomorrow.

  8. Repeat this exercise weekly, focusing on one sense at a time. Over weeks, you'll build a 'sensory empathy map' for your loved one that will guide your daily interactions.

What not to do

  • Do not simulate for more than 20 minutes at a time. Prolonged simulation can be genuinely distressing and may leave you feeling overwhelmed, not empowered. Keep it short and debrief afterward.

  • Do not simulate in front of your loved one if they are easily confused or anxious. They may think you are playing a game or, worse, that you are mocking them. Do it privately or with a supportive friend.

  • Do not assume your simulation is exactly what your loved one experiences. Every person's dementia is unique, and their brain changes are different from a temporary simulation. Use it as a rough guide, not a perfect replica.

  • Do not use simulation to 'prove' that your loved one is wrong or that their behavior is unreasonable. The goal is to build compassion, not to win an argument. If you feel anger rising, stop and take a break.

  • Do not skip the debrief. The most valuable part of simulation is reflecting on what you felt. Without that reflection, you may just feel frustrated or dismissive. Write down your insights.

Practical tools

  • The 'Dementia Live' Simulation Kit (or DIY version)

    Formal programs like Dementia Live use goggles, gloves, and audio to simulate sensory loss. You can create a DIY version: buy cheap safety goggles and tape the outer edges, use thick gardening gloves, and play white noise on your phone. Use this kit for a 10-minute weekly practice.

  • The 'Sensory Journal' Prompt

    After each simulation, write answers to three questions: 'What was the hardest part?' 'What did I want from others in that moment?' 'What is one change I can make to my loved one's environment tomorrow?' This turns feeling into action.

  • The 'Approach from the Front' Reminder Card

    Print a small card that says 'Always approach from the front, speak first, and wait 5 seconds before touching.' Tape it to your bathroom mirror or kitchen cabinet. This is a direct application of what you learn from simulating peripheral vision loss.

  • The 'Texture and Temperature' Check

    After simulating touch loss, create a small basket of items with different textures (soft fleece, rough sponge, smooth stone, cool metal). Before helping your loved one with dressing or eating, touch each item to remind yourself how different textures feel when your sense of touch is dulled.

Discuss with your clinician

If your simulation reveals that your loved one seems to be in constant pain or distress, discuss with their doctor whether an undiagnosed medical condition (like a urinary tract infection, vision problem, or hearing loss) might be contributing.

If your loved one is experiencing tactile hallucinations (feeling bugs on their skin), always rule out medication side effects with their doctor before assuming it's purely sensory (source [7]).

If you find yourself feeling persistently depressed or anxious after simulation exercises, talk to your own healthcare provider. Caregiver burnout is real, and your emotional health matters.

Related guides

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