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Respite through technology

Key points

  • Technology-based respite is a low-cost, flexible way to get a break at home without leaving your loved one alone or in an unfamiliar place.
  • Choose tools that are simple, passive, and don't require following a plot—like Memory Lane TV, nature videos, or a smart speaker playing music.
  • Create a daily 'respite routine' by scheduling the same digital activity at the same time, so both you and your loved one know what to expect.
  • Use a dementia day clock to reduce repetitive time-related questions, giving you a break from constant redirection.
  • Join an online support forum to get emotional support and practical tips while your loved one is engaged with a digital activity.
  • Test any new tool during a calm time first, and never introduce it during a moment of crisis or agitation.

General caregiving information, not medical advice. Check medications and major care changes with your clinician.

Step-by-step

  1. Start by assessing your loved one's current technology ability. Can they use a remote control? Tap a tablet screen? Follow simple voice commands? Match the tool to their skill level—don't assume they can learn something new. If they can't use a device independently, set it up so it plays automatically or with a single touch.

  2. Choose one low-cost, low-risk digital tool to try first. For example, subscribe to Memory Lane TV (memorylane.tv) on your existing smart TV or streaming device. It costs about $10/month and requires no setup beyond installing the app. Play a 15-minute nature scene or nostalgic music video during a time when your loved one is usually restless—like late afternoon.

  3. Create a 'respite routine' by scheduling the same digital activity at the same time each day. Consistency builds familiarity and reduces anxiety. For instance, play a calming video every day at 3 PM for 20 minutes. Use that time to step into another room, make a phone call, or sit quietly with a cup of tea. Tell your loved one, 'I'm going to the kitchen for a few minutes while you watch this—I'll be right back.'

  4. Use a dementia day clock app (like Recall Cue) on a tablet or old smartphone. Place it in a visible spot in the living room or kitchen. The clock shows the time of day, day of week, and a simple label like 'morning' or 'afternoon.' This reduces repetitive time-related questions and gives you a break from constant redirection. Set it up once and let it run.

  5. Set up a simple video call routine using a tablet or computer. Use a platform like FaceTime or Zoom, and keep the contact list short—just 2-3 familiar faces. Before the call, send a text to the other person saying, 'Please keep the conversation simple and talk about old memories.' During the call, you can step away for 10-15 minutes. The person on the screen's name will appear, which helps with recognition.

  6. Create a 'digital memory box' on a tablet or phone: a folder of short, looping videos of family members saying hello, pets playing, or familiar places. Use a simple app like Google Photos or a slideshow maker. Set it to play automatically. This can provide comfort and engagement without requiring your loved one to navigate anything.

  7. Use a smart speaker (like an Amazon Echo or Google Nest) to play music or audiobooks on voice command. Say, 'Alexa, play Frank Sinatra' or 'Hey Google, play ocean sounds.' This can be done without any screen interaction, which is helpful for people who are overwhelmed by visual stimuli. You can set a timer so it turns off after 30 minutes, giving you a clear window of quiet.

  8. Join an online support forum for dementia caregivers (like the Alzheimer's Association community or a Facebook group). Spend 10-15 minutes reading or posting while your loved one is engaged with a digital activity. This provides emotional support and practical tips without leaving the house. Set a timer so you don't lose track of time.

  9. Plan for emergencies by having a 'tech respite kit' ready: a tablet pre-loaded with calming apps, a backup battery, and a list of simple voice commands. If you need to leave suddenly (e.g., for a medical appointment), you can hand your loved one the tablet and say, 'Here's something fun to watch while I'm gone.' Test this in a non-emergency first.

  10. Evaluate and adjust after one week. Did the tool reduce your stress? Did your loved one seem calmer or more agitated? If they seemed confused, try a different type of content—like simple nature scenes instead of music videos. If they enjoyed it, gradually increase the time. Remember, the goal is a real break for you, not just a distraction for them.

What not to do

  • Don't introduce a new technology during a moment of crisis or agitation. If your loved one is already upset, a new screen or sound can overwhelm them further. Instead, try the tool during a calm time first, like after a meal. Say, 'Let's try something new together for a few minutes,' and sit with them the first time.

  • Don't expect your loved one to learn how to use a new device on their own. Dementia affects learning and memory, so they may not remember how to start a video or answer a call. Set everything up so it plays automatically or with a single tap. If you leave them with a complex remote, they may become frustrated and call for you—defeating the purpose of respite.

  • Don't use technology as a substitute for all human interaction. The goal is to give you a break, not to isolate your loved one. Balance screen time with face-to-face connection. For example, use a 20-minute video as a break for yourself, but then spend 10 minutes talking about what they watched. This keeps the human connection strong.

  • Don't leave your loved alone with technology if they have a history of wandering or getting into trouble online. If they might give out personal information or order things, use a device with parental controls or a 'kiosk mode' that locks them into one app. For example, on an iPad, go to Settings > Accessibility > Guided Access to lock the screen to one app.

  • Don't assume that all technology is helpful. Some tools, like complex video games or social media, can cause confusion, arguments, or anxiety. Stick to simple, passive content that doesn't require following a plot or making decisions. Memory Lane TV and nature videos are designed for this purpose. If your loved one seems agitated by a tool, stop using it and try something else.

  • Don't feel guilty about using technology for respite. Many caregivers feel they should be 'on' all the time, but rest is a necessity, not a luxury. Taking a short break actually strengthens your ability to provide good care. Remind yourself: 'I am using this tool so I can be a better caregiver, not because I am abandoning my loved one.'

Practical tools

  • Memory Lane TV

    A streaming service designed specifically for people with dementia. It offers music, nature scenes, and nostalgic content that doesn't require following a plot. Can be used on a smart TV, tablet, or computer. Cost is about $10/month. Set it to play automatically during a specific time each day. The content can be used to energize, calm, or maintain mood. Many caregivers report reduced anxiety and improved mood in their loved one, giving them a reliable window of respite.

  • Dementia Day Clock (Recall Cue app or physical clock)

    A clock that shows the time of day, day of week, and a simple label like 'morning' or 'afternoon.' Reduces repetitive questions about time. The Recall Cue app can be installed on an old tablet or smartphone and also allows sending messages. Place it in a visible spot. This tool can give you a break from constant redirection. Cost: free for basic app, or $30-50 for a physical clock.

  • Smart Speaker (Amazon Echo or Google Nest)

    Use voice commands to play music, audiobooks, or nature sounds. No screen needed, which is helpful for people who are overwhelmed by visuals. Say, 'Alexa, play relaxing piano music' or 'Hey Google, set a timer for 30 minutes.' You can also set routines: 'Alexa, start my afternoon routine' to play a specific playlist. Cost: $25-50 for a basic model.

  • Video Call Setup (FaceTime, Zoom, or Skype)

    Use a tablet or computer for short, scheduled video calls with familiar people. Keep the contact list short (2-3 people). Before the call, send a text to the other person with tips: 'Keep it simple, talk about old memories, use their name.' The person's name appears on the screen, which helps with recognition. This gives you 10-15 minutes of respite while your loved one is engaged. Cost: free if you already have a device.

  • Digital Memory Box (Google Photos or simple slideshow app)

    Create a folder of short, looping videos of family members, pets, or familiar places. Use a tablet or old phone. Set it to play automatically. This provides comfort and engagement without requiring navigation. Update the content every few weeks to keep it fresh. Cost: free.

  • Online Support Forums (Alzheimer's Association community, Facebook groups)

    Join a forum for dementia caregivers to get emotional support, practical tips, and social connection. Spend 10-15 minutes reading or posting while your loved one is engaged with a digital activity. This reduces feelings of isolation and provides validation. Look for groups that are moderated and focused on dementia care. Cost: free.

Discuss with your clinician

Ask your doctor: 'Are there any specific types of digital content (like music or nature videos) that are recommended for my loved one's stage of dementia?'

Ask your clinician: 'Could using a tablet or smart speaker interfere with any medications or treatments my loved one is receiving?'

Ask a dementia specialist: 'Are there any online support forums or apps you recommend for caregivers in my situation?'

Ask your loved one's neurologist: 'Is there a risk that certain types of screen time could worsen agitation or hallucinations in my loved one's specific type of dementia?'

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