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Dehumanizing language in care settings

Key points

  • Task-focused labels like 'feeder' and 'wanderer' reduce a whole person to a single symptom and strip them of dignity.
  • These labels are often a symptom of an understaffed, for-profit system, but they can be unlearned with conscious effort.
  • Always use the person's name and a whole-sentence description instead of a label.
  • When you hear a label from staff, gently offer an alternative — be a partner, not an accuser.
  • Model person-first language in all written and verbal communication, including care plans and shift reports.
  • Assume the person with dementia can understand more than they show — your words matter deeply.
  • Celebrate small wins: every time you or a staff member uses respectful language, acknowledge it.

General caregiving information, not medical advice. Check medications and major care changes with your clinician.

Step-by-step

  1. Start by noticing your own language. For one week, keep a mental or written log of every time you or a staff member uses a label like 'feeder,' 'wanderer,' 'the naked lady,' 'the banger,' or 'diaper change.' Do not judge yourself — just observe. Awareness is the first step to change.

  2. Replace the label with the person's name and a whole-sentence description. Instead of 'I have to do the feeder in room 203,' say 'I am going to help Mrs. Johnson with her lunch.' Instead of 'the wanderer is at the door again,' say 'Mr. Smith is walking near the exit and may need redirection.' This small shift re-humanizes the interaction.

  3. When you hear a staff member use a dehumanizing label, gently and privately offer an alternative. Say something like, 'I know we are all busy, but I noticed you called my mom "the feeder." It really helps me when we use her name, Margaret. Could we try that?' Keep your tone collaborative, not accusatory — you are building a partnership.

  4. Model person-first language in all written communications, including care plans, shift notes, and whiteboards. Write 'Resident who needs assistance with eating' instead of 'feeder,' and 'Resident who walks frequently' instead of 'wanderer.' This sets a standard for the whole team.

  5. Create a simple 'language commitment' with the care team. At a team meeting or huddle, ask everyone to agree to one or two specific phrases they will stop using (e.g., 'bib' instead of 'clothing protector,' or 'feeder' instead of 'person who needs help eating'). Post this commitment in the staff break room.

  6. When you are the family caregiver visiting, introduce your loved one to every new staff member with a positive, personal detail. Say, 'This is my dad, Robert. He was a carpenter and loves to hum when he eats.' This primes the staff to see the person, not the task.

  7. If you are in a leadership role, incorporate language audits into your quality assurance process. Randomly listen to shift reports or observe meal times and note any dehumanizing language. Provide coaching on the spot, and celebrate staff who consistently use respectful language.

  8. Role-play common scenarios with staff during training. For example, have one person act as a resident who needs help eating while another practices saying, 'I am here to help you with your meal, Mrs. Lee. Would you like the fork or the spoon?' This builds muscle memory for respectful communication.

What not to do

  • Do not use the word 'bib' for a clothing protector. As one expert cringes, 'Bib — I hear this one all the time in nursing homes. This needs to stop.' Instead, say 'clothing protector' or simply 'let me put this on to keep your shirt clean.' The word 'bib' infantilizes adults and strips them of dignity.

  • Do not call a person 'the wanderer' or 'the elopement risk.' This labels the person by a behavior they cannot control due to brain damage. Instead, say 'the person who walks frequently' or 'the resident who likes to explore.' This reframes the behavior as a need or preference, not a problem.

  • Do not use 'feeder' to describe a person who needs help eating. This reduces them to a passive task. Instead, say 'the person who needs assistance with meals' or 'the resident I am helping to eat.' This acknowledges their humanity and your role as a partner, not a machine.

  • Do not laugh or snicker about a resident's behavior with colleagues. As one source describes, 'Everybody laughing and giggling and snickering about you behind your back... that's not going to work.' This destroys trust and dignity. Instead, if you need to debrief a challenging moment, do so privately and respectfully, focusing on solutions, not mockery.

  • Do not assume a person with dementia cannot understand the labels you use. Even if they cannot process every word, they pick up on tone and body language. As one expert notes, 'They are not responsible for their own behaviors due to brain damage, but they still feel the sting of disrespect.' Always assume they can understand more than they show.

  • Do not correct a family member who uses dehumanizing language in front of their loved one. Instead, pull them aside later and say, 'I noticed you called your dad "the wanderer" just now. I know you didn't mean anything by it, but using his name might help him feel more respected. Can we try that together?'

Practical tools

  • The 'Name + Need' Phrase Bank

    Create a small card or digital note with alternative phrases for common labels. For 'feeder': 'I am helping [Name] with their meal.' For 'wanderer': '[Name] is exploring the hallway.' For 'banger': '[Name] is trying to communicate something.' Keep this card in your pocket or on your phone for quick reference.

  • The 'One Positive Detail' Introduction

    When a new staff member meets your loved one, always include one positive, personal detail. For example: 'This is my mother, Helen. She loves classical music and always taps her foot.' This primes the staff to see the person, not the task. Do this every time you meet a new aide or nurse.

  • The 'Language Pledge' Poster

    Work with the facility leadership to create a simple poster for the staff break room that lists three to five phrases to avoid (e.g., 'feeder,' 'bib,' 'wanderer') and their respectful alternatives. Have staff sign it as a commitment. This makes the expectation visible and shared.

  • The 'Private Nudge' Script

    When you overhear a staff member use a dehumanizing label, use this script: 'I know we are all busy, and I appreciate everything you do. I noticed you called my dad "the feeder." It really helps me when we use his name, Robert. Could we try that? Thank you so much.' This is collaborative, not confrontational.

  • The 'Resident Story' Board

    In the resident's room or at the nurses' station, post a small card with a few personal facts: 'Loves jazz,' 'Was a teacher,' 'Prefers to be called Mr. Jones.' This reminds everyone that this is a whole person with a history, not a task to be completed.

  • The 'Shift Report' Language Check

    If you are in leadership, add a one-minute segment to every shift change where staff are asked to describe a resident using only person-first language. For example: 'I helped Mrs. Green with her breakfast. She was in a good mood and ate most of her oatmeal.' This reinforces the habit.

Discuss with your clinician

If you notice that dehumanizing language from staff is causing your loved one to become more agitated or withdrawn, discuss with the facility's social worker or director of nursing about implementing a person-centered care training program.

If you are a staff member and feel that understaffing is forcing you to use task-focused language to cope, discuss with your supervisor about strategies to manage workload without compromising dignity.

If a resident's behavior (like disrobing or wandering) is consistently labeled in a negative way, discuss with the clinical team whether a medical or environmental change (e.g., medication review, different clothing, or a safe wandering path) could reduce the behavior and thus the labeling.

Related guides

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