
Where Brain Games Fit (and Don't) in a Dementia Care Plan
Brain games—like puzzles, memory apps, or online training programs—are often marketed as a way to sharpen thinking and slow dementia. But the research is mixed, and for many families, these activities can backfire, leading to frustration or feelings of failure. This article helps you understand when brain games might be a helpful part of a care plan, when they are not, and how to choose activities that truly support your loved one's sense of purpose and well-being. You will find concrete steps, real phrases to use, and ways to adapt for different stages and personalities.
Key points
- Brain games have weak scientific support for improving real-life function in dementia. Use them cautiously, if at all.
- The primary goal of any activity is success, enjoyment, and connection—not cognitive exercise.
- Tailor activities to current abilities, not past ones. A former crossword lover may now find sorting cards by suit more rewarding.
- Use a warm, collaborative approach: ask for help rather than issuing a challenge. Say, 'Can you help me sort these?'
- Watch for signs of frustration in your loved one and in yourself. Stop any activity that causes distress.
- Meaningful daily tasks, music, gentle movement, and social interaction are far more powerful for brain health than any app or game.
The Promise vs. The Reality of Brain Games
Many companies sell programs that claim to improve memory, concentration, and even slow dementia progression. The idea is appealing: if you exercise the brain like a muscle, you can keep it strong. However, the scientific evidence for these claims is weak. Studies are small, use different games for different lengths of time, and it is unclear whether any improvements in test scores translate to real-life benefits like better attention, memory, or daily functioning. One 2018 small study did show some improvement in cognitive test scores, but the overall picture is that the evidence is not solid or strong enough to recommend brain games as a core treatment. As one dementia specialist explains, it is very hard to make generalizations because the research is so varied.
Why Brain Games Can Backfire for People with Dementia
The biggest risk with brain games is that they can create a sense of failure and frustration. A person with dementia may have been a crossword champion or a skilled card player in the past. When they can no longer complete those tasks, they may feel embarrassed, angry, or defeated. This can lead to agitation, withdrawal, or even behavioral challenges. Caregivers may also become frustrated, trying to coax or correct their loved one, which strains the relationship. The goal of any activity in a dementia care plan should be to set the person up for success and to prevent extra stress on both of you. As Teepa Snow emphasizes, flexibility is key—rigid routines or expectations can lead to burnout and an 'us versus them' dynamic. Brain games, if used at all, must be chosen and presented with great care.
What Truly Supports Brain Health: Purpose, Connection, and Joy
Instead of focusing on brain games as a cognitive workout, think about activities that make your loved one feel productive, connected, and happy. Research and expert guidelines highlight that meaningful activities—those tied to past interests, hobbies, and a sense of purpose—are far more beneficial than generic brain training. For example, sorting cards by suit, folding laundry, or helping to set the table can provide cognitive stimulation and a feeling of accomplishment. Music, art, gentle exercise, and outdoor activities also engage the brain in a holistic way. The key is to tailor activities to the person's current abilities, not their past ones, and to prioritize enjoyment over 'mental exercise.' As one care expert notes, even a simple task like sorting colored chips can be a success if it matches the person's skill level and gives them a role to play.
General caregiving information, not medical advice. Check medications and major care changes with your clinician.
Step-by-step
Start by observing your loved one's current abilities. What can they do without help? What frustrates them? Use this as your guide. For example, if they can still match colors but cannot follow complex instructions, choose a simple sorting task rather than a multi-step puzzle.
Choose activities that connect to their past interests. If they loved gardening, have them sort seed packets or water a plant. If they enjoyed card games, ask them to sort cards by suit—not play a full game. This taps into preserved skills and memories.
Introduce any activity with a warm, collaborative invitation. Say something like, 'I could really use a hand with these—would you help me sort these by color?' This frames the task as helpful, not a test, and reduces pressure.
Keep the activity short and flexible. Plan for 5 to 15 minutes, and stop while it is still going well. Watch for signs of fatigue, confusion, or frustration, and be ready to switch to something else or take a break.
Use simple, step-by-step instructions. Demonstrate what to do rather than explaining it. For example, pick up a blue chip and say, 'Blue goes here,' then hand them a red chip and say, 'Red goes here.' Offer praise for each small success.
If you try a brain game app or program, test it yourself first. Look for apps that are simple, have large buttons, and do not require fast reactions or complex rules. Use it together, side by side, and stop if it causes stress. Do not use it as a solo activity for your loved one.
Incorporate brain-stimulating activities into daily routines rather than setting aside 'game time.' For instance, while cooking, ask them to sort utensils or name ingredients. While on a walk, ask them to point out red cars or birds. This makes cognitive engagement natural and low-pressure.
Monitor your own feelings. If you find yourself pushing, correcting, or feeling frustrated, step back. The activity is not working. Reassess and choose something simpler or more enjoyable. Your relationship is more important than any game.
Consider adult day programs or memory cafés that offer structured, social activities. These programs often include music, gentle exercise, and crafts—all of which engage the brain in a positive, group setting. They also give you a break, which is essential for your own well-being.
Document what works and what does not in a simple log. Note the activity, the time of day, your loved one's mood, and how long they engaged. Over time, you will see patterns that help you plan better activities.
What not to do
Do not push your loved one to complete a brain game or puzzle if they are struggling. This can lead to agitation, tears, or a sense of failure. Instead, simplify the task or switch to something they can do successfully, like sorting objects or listening to music.
Do not use brain games as a way to 'test' memory or cognitive function. This can feel like a quiz and may cause anxiety or defensiveness. The goal is connection and enjoyment, not assessment. If you need to track changes, do so through observation, not direct questioning.
Do not assume that a loved one who loved crosswords or Sudoku in the past will enjoy them now. Dementia changes abilities. A former crossword enthusiast may now find even simple word games impossible. Offer activities that match their current level, not their former one.
Do not leave your loved alone with a brain game app or program. They may become confused, frustrated, or accidentally exit the app. Use technology together, as a shared activity, and be ready to guide or stop at any moment.
Do not rely on brain games as a substitute for social interaction, physical activity, or meaningful daily tasks. Human connection, movement, and a sense of purpose are far more powerful for brain health than any screen-based game. Use games as a small part of a varied day, not the main event.
Do not feel guilty if your loved one does not engage with brain games. Many people with dementia simply do not enjoy them, and that is okay. Your job is to find what brings them joy and a sense of accomplishment, not to force a particular activity.
Practical tools
The 'Help Me' Script
A simple phrase to turn any task into a collaborative, success-oriented activity. Say: 'I could really use your help with this. Can you [sort these by color / fold these napkins / match these socks]?' This frames the activity as a favor, not a test, and gives the person a valued role.
Sorting Trays or Bins
Use small trays, muffin tins, or divided containers for sorting tasks. For example, put a handful of mixed buttons, coins, or colored chips on the table and ask your loved one to sort them by color or size. This is a low-frustration, repetitive activity that provides cognitive stimulation without pressure.
Simple Card or Domino Games
Instead of complex games, use cards or dominoes for matching or sorting. For example, ask your loved one to sort a deck of cards by suit, or to match dominoes by the number of dots. These tasks tap into preserved skills and can be done in short sessions. Avoid competitive games that require strategy or memory.
Music Playlist for Calm and Engagement
Create a playlist of songs from your loved one's young adult years (ages 15–25). Music activates many parts of the brain and can improve mood, reduce agitation, and even spark memories. Use it as a background during other activities or as a standalone calming tool. Discuss with a clinician if you have concerns about overstimulation.
Daily Activity Log
Keep a simple notebook or use a notes app to track what activities you tried, how your loved one responded, and how long they engaged. Note the time of day, their mood before and after, and any challenges. Over a week, patterns will emerge that help you plan better. This tool also helps you communicate with healthcare providers.
The 'One-Step' Rule
For any activity, break it down into a single, clear step. Instead of saying, 'Let's do this puzzle,' say, 'Can you pick up the blue piece?' After they do that, say, 'Great, now let's find where it goes.' This reduces overwhelm and sets them up for success at every step.
Discuss with your clinician
Ask your doctor or neurologist: 'Are there any specific brain training programs or cognitive therapies that are recommended for my loved one's type and stage of dementia?'
Discuss any sudden changes in mood or behavior after starting a brain game or activity. This could indicate that the activity is too challenging or that there is an underlying medical issue.
If your loved one has a history of anxiety, depression, or agitation, ask whether competitive or timed games might be counterproductive. A clinician can help you weigh risks and benefits.
For people with Lewy body dementia or Parkinson's disease dementia, ask about visual-spatial challenges and whether certain types of puzzles or games might increase fall risk or frustration.
Related guides
- Exercise and Brain Health: A Practical Guide for Caregivers and Early-Stage Dementia
- Functional exercise for daily tasks
- Choosing Meaningful Activities for Someone with Dementia: A Caregiver’s Guide to Purposeful Engagement
- De-escalating anger and distress in the moment
- music-based memory activities
- Using Adult Day Care for Caregiver Respite: A Practical Guide
- Communication changes to reduce caregiver stress
- Supporting meaningful risk-taking in Lewy body or Parkinson's dementia
- Single-sensory care techniques for late-stage dementia
- Protecting Yourself From Caregiver Burnout: A Practical Guide for Dementia Families